Basic Philosophy Shit for Newbs (like me)

A quick and dirty examination of certain common philosophy terms that can confuse and bewilder the nincompoops and neophytes.

So, you’re interested in philosophy!

Welcome to hell, bitch.

Ok, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but it can genuinely feel this way as a relative newcomer to the field (like me) sometimes. So many “ologies”, so many “isms”!

So much pontification, obfuscation, bloviation, and other displays of vocabularian prowess (like this one), sometimes meant to communicate, but often meant to confuse or exclude. Endless references to foundational texts I haven’t read to ancient men with strange names I don’t recognize. It can be incredibly overwhelming. This will be my humble newb attempt to demystify a few of the key terms one will often encounter when first beginning to explore philosophy.

Now, in a futile attempt to keep the “Well Ekshually” Squad from dragging me in the comments, everything I’m about to say is oversimplified for practical purposes. This article isn’t for you, breh. It’s for relative newbs like me to get a very basic idea of what’s going on so we can have some idea what the fuck people like you are talking about. Calm your titties.

So without further ado, here are several of the fancy terms often heard in philosophical discussion whose meanings are not nakedly obvious at first blush.

Epistemology - How We Know Shit

From the Greek “episteme” = knowledge or understanding

Epistemology is essentially the discussion of knowledge, what it is, and how it’s acquired. So, when you hear a phrase like “epistemic humility”, for example, it means the person is acknowledging the limitations of their own current knowledge, or possibly even their ability to know.

Ontology - What Shit Is

From the Greek “ontos” = being

Bill Clinton fucking loves ontology.

“It all depends on what the definition of “is” is.”

Jokes aside, ontology is essentially beliefs or discussion of what “is actually the case” on the fundamental level. This will often be adjacent to discussions of the nature of truth itself, as opposed to knowledge of truth (epistemology). These terms are often used quite close to each other, but there is an important difference.

Teleology - What Shit Is For

From the Greek “telos” - purpose, goal

Discussions of purpose or “raison d’etre” fall under the umbrella of teleology. This term typically shows up a bit further along in philosophical discussions than epistemological or ontology. Another way of framing it is that teleology is more concerned with “Why?” than “How?”.

Tautology - Self-referencing Shit

From the Greek “tauto” - the same

A tautology, in over-simplified terms, is something that is self-referential. It is often used in an accusatory or pejorative way (but not always). If you watch Family Guy, remember when Peter says “It insists upon itself, Lois. It insists upon itself.”? Something like that. (There is often discussion at the deeper levels as to whether tautologies are actually ultimately avoidable, which then leads to discussions of things like “brute facts” or “necessary beings”, but as I’d like to keep my sanity AND my skin, I won’t delve into those adjacent topics here.)

Meta-physics - Fundamental Shit

Metaphysics in the context of philosophy is the discussion of a person’s theories or propositions as to the fundamental nature and functions of reality. In simple terms, you might say it’s what the person thinks “is really going on”, in a broad sense.

Qualia - What Shit Seems Like

So “qualia” brings to mind quality, and while they are similar, qualia tend to refer specifically to the qualities of a conscious experience in its simplest form. To crib an often-used example, what red looks like in your head is “qualia”. We can argue about whether or not red really exists, or whether it is something out in the world outside of our interaction with it, but in this context, that qualia or “quale” (singular) of red would be your subjective internal experience of the quality that we have labeled “red”.

Semantics - Weird Word Shit

I imagine most are quite familiar with this word, but perhaps not in the context of philosophy. Semantics is essentially the study of the meanings of words. In the context of philosophy, you might hear expressions like “semantic confusion” or “semantic difference”. Often this is referring to the fact that a disagreement may be rooted in the respective parties either using the same words to mean different things, or, conversely, using different words to say the same thing.

Cheat Sheet (TLDR)

Epistemology - Knowledge - “How We Know Shit”

Ontology - Being or Truth - “What Shit Is”

Teleology - Purpose or Goal - “What Shit is For”

Qualia - “What Shit Seems Like”

Metaphysics - Nature of Reality - “What’s Really Goin’ On”

Semantics - What Words Mean - “Wait, what do you mean?”

Of course, this list is by no means exhaustive, these are merely a few of the terms that I found a bit confusing or simply struggled to keep straight in my early days in exploring philosophy. Hopefully this has been helpful, or at least mildly entertaining.

Let me know in the comments! What other terms have you found confusing in philosophy? Did I miss any big ones?

Are there any other philosophy related topics we can explore together in the future as feckless newbs?!

If you found this fun or useful, please pass it along! More and more people are becoming interested in philosophy every day. While philosophy can be incredibly dense sometimes, I firmly believe that philosophy, at least in its basic forms, is essentially a birthright of humanity, and it should not be held hostage in ivory towers or ascetic retreats.

Philosophy is for everyone! Whether you wish to engage deeply with it or not is up to you.

But I will be right here if you do, your weird internet Uncle Ish who’s willing to smash face first into his own ignorance with catastrophic results for your edification and amusement!